Still Strugglin'

Finally a good surprise, had too many unwanted ones lately (car got stolen, friend died, saved my father from death 2 times last month - and last time he would've woken up dead if I weren't awake at 4am due to my eczema itch-scratch problem and didn't hear him fall in the bathroom - had to take him to the E.R. immediately).

I wasn't really expecting any kind of love life for months now, since I am damn fugly and somedays invalid because of my severe atopic dermatitis. Then a friend called me and I got out with her. And we made up ;)

I never got so anxious before a date, because I simply DO NOT DATE when I am with my face full of scratch marks and with this *lover-ly* reddish coloration (I avoid taking pictures too when I'm like this). Actually I never had this pre-dating anxiety thingie in my 'normal' state.

But it was really great. She'd seen me affected by this fuggin' disease before and she understands it almost perfectly (she is a Dermatologist), besides being beautiful, charming, very intelligent and hella funny ;)

I'm not well today but I can only be thankful for having spent two great nights with her so far. And my friends, who encouraged me (actually they annoyed me to death) not to cancel the date, deserve a lot of credit too.

Just hope it works out :)

'Then the rainstorm came, over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my, belief you see
And realized my mistake
But time through a prayer, to me
And all around me became still

I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary
And I felt my spirit fly
I had found all of my reality
I realize what it takes

'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh I, don't bet (don't bend), don't break (don't break)
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name'

(Love's Divine - Seal)