Still Strugglin'

I know how it is to face a yearlong battle, against yourself and against others.

I know how it is to emerge victorious from your inner conflicts after such a long time.

I know how it is to feel hopeless in the middle of the night, and scream for somebody who is not there and will never be.

I know how it is to have your yearnings completely denied all this time, and how cold and uncaring you can become during this private hell.

I know how it is to be completely exhausted when you get over such a long period of continuous challenge and suffering with no time at all to rest.

I know how it is hard when you have to contain the pain within yourself, because nobody else can help you.

I know how torturing it is when you have to accept the fact that you have lost the battle, even when you deserved to have won.

I know how it is to feel like a tired, yet stronger, warrior who has come back from a long and lonely war.

And I know how it is when this loneliness strikes you so deeply sometimes, to a point that you'd wish that anybody would come to comfort you.


I am very, very tired. I have been fighting too much, too hard, for too long. Take my hand and lead me home. Or, take me anywhere.


(by me)